How I feel

How I feel
Separate from your reality
Waiting on the curb
For a bus that never comes for me
I walk along the road and somehow I'm not here
What I think is too trivial to be real
What I say .. not the thoughts that drown out the discussion

What I mean .. what's the point of us if I'm not worth your troubles
Staring across from coffee the silence pounds percussions to no proper eye-to-eye perceptions

Strangers

You don't see me

Looking at a block feeding back info 

So floats the traffic of my words to the thinning atmos.

Lonely when I'm with you
14x14, sofa, and tv
The space that we fill 

Yet this room feels so empty

A cold hold and a kiss from lips without me

I'm not there on your mind

I hold myself together and YOU feel fine

My foundations drifting further but never you mind

I wonder if my provocations impress the importance of my time

Cuz maybe one day

I'll be forced to say goodbye

And don't say, you didn't know

Cuz I force and flow emotions you refuse to show

And never hide behind pride I'm no better but at least I tried

Will my words ever change your mind?

Make you find the time to try?

Finally see that I'm your life and you are mine?

Don't pretend that what I say isn't real

Cuz the reality I deal ..

There's so much more to me then just how I feel.

fine is just a phase

How can I illuminate the state of this distance and the miles between ourselves?
or count the differences distinguished in disappointment and how it always overwhelms.
My shoulders lay so heavy I heave in breaths and feel the ache.
I want to get the sleep I crave but mind meddles mostly closely to the midnight keeping me in restless wake.
Soul upset my bed lays passive as I pace.
Imbued in all I feel, I fall breaking into the pieces of a scattered drop of rain across my face.
I'm not silent in my suffering.
Skies break lightning through the thundering.
and I'm just trying to make sense of me.....
so I hold myself together, nails digging deeper, breaking skin
I can no longer bare the weight I feel within
I want to shatter, scatter, let the wind blow me apart and never matter
I can't gather when or where the stages of my emotional phases came to change
but I'm no longer fine
I'm just another stone stepped on down the line
and only time will tell if I will ever get mine
~Psyqsol

My Apologies Don't Cut It

How could you
Do what you did
Dime to a dozen
Dollar twenty like the others
But not me
Not the eyes
The lips the lies
A shit bag for life
So get out of mine
Cuz you not ready for the knowledge of my mind
And yes I do mind
The lies the tries
The heavy breathin
Got me feelin
Thank God for the mind I got
The strength I know
And the feelins I fought
Cuz the guard I got
Blocked your only shot
So goodbye, good try
And go work out your own damned life.
~Psyqsol

...hope so hopelessly...

how can I continue with the way that you do
I bend beyond my breaking that my mind is also through
like nothing even matters after all I've done for you
but it's not enough for you to see
all the love I hold I hope so hopelessly
that even now I can't let go
even now I want to show
but loving you is like this battle
forcing me to rage and rave...unravel!
I'm no longer fortified, I'm tired and I'm fragile
I'm no longer fierce enough to fight so hard
cuz your words have worked their way and left me scarred
~Psyqsol

children suffer sins

Fire on the water blazes barren through this world
The dire need to kill a martyr married solely to his sword
The smallest ones are more surprised the sight reflecting from their eyes
A fight collides the motives of a wasted endless mind
They war within the darkness in the shadow of the light
Casualties condemn this world to share an equal love for hate
But peace will soon arrive at the end of all our fate...
~Psyqsol

..More..

A run along the beach the water stretches out beyond the grains of sand below my feet.. my own imagination's infinite ways to wonder make the night a brighter shade of day.. we are like stars and galaxies the depth between you and the distance between me unmeasured in this place.. hands that touch two points across my thighs and decorate the fantasies of a full days lazy afternoon.. it's like anything and everything and everywhere at once.. I'm lost beneath a gaze made weakly by the taste of heaven held within a kiss engaging all my senses and left with only mind and wit.. I'm satisfied and praised by gestures that implore I know I shouldn't... but yet... and still... I call for more...
~PsyqSol

derailed by the night

Subdued by heavy thoughts sinking through and I propose its just the rain that's out of view,
I sleep through bells and morning dew, sunrise and dreams that can be made come true
I turn lazily, eyes closed, amazingly still trying slightly to follow through,
Maybe it's the wine, I'm fine, maybe I drank a handful of a few
The night is far to dark to take a apart and puzzle it to pieces
I'm scattered through subjective memory and someone else's psychology thesis
But I'm a fool for the song playing all night long, a wrong look across the scene
An encounter with a mean mugging feen familiar to the deed of drinking more than she needs
Maybe my mirror so playfully thoughtless I give in to taking another try
The glass is not yet empty and I'm not even that light
Follow my feet I'm back on the beat slightly slurred and indiscreet
Blurred by lights half past and incomplete, I'm window seat, eyes closed and made for my sheets
I concede to the notion set by rooms spinning in motion by my devotion
Another night left behind defined and designed by a little too much wine


~PsyqSol